Kevin Hart – Everyone Looks Tall in a Truck

Kevin Hart – Everyone Looks Tall in a Truck


YOU KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS? I THINK I TRY TO IMPRESS WOMEN TOO MUCH. THAT’S A BIG PROBLEM I GOT. I DO. I REALLY DO. TRY TO IMPRESS WOMEN WAY TOO MUCH. LIKE, I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A BIG-ASS TRUCK, JUST TO IMPRESS WOMEN. YOU KNOW. DID YOU KNOW THAT EVERYBODY LOOKS TALL IN A TRUCK? DID YOU KNOW THAT? [LAUGHTER] I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. I HAD TO FIND OUT THE HARD WAY, YOU KNOW, ‘CAUSE I LIKE TO FLIRT. AND ONE DAY I WAS AT THE STOPLIGHT, AND I SAW THIS GIRL. I WAS LIKE, “DAMN, BABY, YOU LOOK GOOD. WHY DON’T YOU PULL OVER, LET ME TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND.” SHE’S LIKE, “ALL RIGHT, HE KIND OF CUTE.” HER AND HER GIRLFRIEND HIGH-FIVE. THEY WAS HAPPY. [LAUGHTER] SHE’S LIKE, “ALL RIGHT, WELL, GET OUT. COME TALK TO ME.” AND I CAN’T GET OUT OF MY TRUCK. YOU KNOW. I GOTTA JUMP OUT, RIGHT? [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] AND WHAT WAS BAD, IS THAT WHEN I JUMPED OUT, I DIDN’T HAVE A GOOD LANDING. I STUMBLED IT A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW? AND ALL I HEARD WAS, “OH, MY GOD, HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY KNEES.” AND THEY JUST PULLED OFF. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] MY FACE HIT THE SIDE OF THE DOOR. I WAS LIKE– “I GOT KNEES. I JUST”– [LAUGHTER CONTINUES] I’M HOLDING úEM UP. “LOOK, I SWEAR TO GOD. IT WAS A BAD JUMP. I DIDN’T STICK IT. [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW, IN GYMNASTICS, YOU– AND YOU DON’T MOVE. I– OH– AHH-AH! SHE DIDN’T LIKE THAT TOO MUCH. I THINK IF I WAS TOUGHER, I WOULD HAVE BETTER LUCK. ‘CAUSE FOR SOME REASON, WOMEN LIKE TOUGH GUYS, YOU KNOW? THEY LIKE TOUGH GUYS. NOT THAT TOUGH, MAN. I’M NOT. LIKE, FOR SOME REASON WOMEN DON’T FEEL SAFE WITH ME, YOU KNOW? LIKE, “SO, YOU’RE KIND OF A BIG GUY. IF A WOMAN SEES YOU, SHE’LL SAY, “OH, I CAN’T– IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, I KNOW I CAN JUST GRAB YOU AND WE’LL BE SAFE.” IT’S NOT REALLY THE SAME WITH ME. IT’S LIKE “IF SOMETHING HAPPEN WE SHOULD BOTH GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE. IT’S LIKE– WE SHOULD JUST RUN, THAT’S ALL.” [LAUGHTER] “YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU RIGHT. I– YEAH, WE SHOULD. TELL YOU WHAT, I HOPE YOU’RE FAST, ‘CAUSE I AM.” LIKE, I’M GONNA GET THE HELL OUT.”

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